The rare, but oh so necessary Polytextual Synth Goth is a bit of an enigma for leading goth professionals. The main reason for this being that the normal goth usually only speaks a single language at a time, more than likely that language being English. The Polytextual Synth Goth can often be found speaking multiple languages at once, whether that be bouncing around languages from sentence to sentence, switching between words, or speaking in some disgusting illegal crossbreed of two languages at the same time. An example would be Swedish and French words being fused into a single idea. To outsiders, the Polytextual Synth Goth sounds as if they are creating hell itself through their mouth, some ancient magic language used to curse their enemies. In reality, they're just speaking a complex language form incomprehensible to those of us that do not try to fuse the languages of the world together. The greatest Polytextual Synth Goth, Edgar Allan Poe, once fused every known language on the Earth into one word, killing him instantly. The Polytextual Synth Goth gets its "synth" part of its name by only listening to avant-garde synthesizer jazz. One of the more interesting quirks of the PTG is the strange obsession with hating the crow. This may come from their heavy readings of Edgar Allan Poe, however experts are unsure.

You might be a Polytextual Synth Goth if you:

  • Often consider fusing multiple languages into a guttural noise
  • Read Edgar Allan Poe a lot
  • Strictly listen to free-form synth jazz
  • Despise crows

If you're a Polytextual Synth Goth, then embrace your type! You are among a rare and exceptional breed of individuals, standing high above the rest.